Half an MD

So much to say.

So many things have happened in what feels like such a short amount of time.

First, I am done with the basic sciences section of medical school. Translation- I've finished the first two years of medical school and completed the part of the US Medical Licensing Exam relevant to that material. I haven't gotten my score yet - and I probably wont tell anyone when I do :) But there's this huge sense of relief, a through-and-through, soul lifting, mood changing, life altering sense of having a monumental weight lifted from my shoulders and I can just come back to being myself and not some stressed out medical professional. The experience was interesting in multiple ways. One, it's amazing how much stress the human body and mind can tolerate. Alternatively, it's equally amazing what that level of stress can do to your body and mind. Next, I'm happy to know that I'm not a raving lunatic jumping down everyone's throat even when I'm stressed beyond belief. Hopefully, I can maintain that when I'm sleep deprived, also. Get ready to experience that! :)

Two, I'm moving away from Lubbock. TTUHSC splits it's medical school class up to surrounding West Texas communities- some go to Amarillo (like me), some go to Midland/Odessa, and the rest stay in Lubbock in an effort to provide medical professionals to the surrounding, underserved areas. Surprisingly (most of all to me), this is going to be a somewhat difficult transition despite the excitement of moving forward in my training. I've made some amazing friends here, both in and out of medical school. I've established strong professional connections through the County Medical Society and with the school administration via teaching for the Global Health Elective. I've found a church that I adore, which is very rare for me. I've come into myself a little and been able to admit some defeats and tear down some walls (HUGE for me). And while I'm excited about the opportunities I am being presented in Amarillo, I now have a little soft spot for Lubbock.

Mornings at home.

Alternatively, I've been home for only two days and am reminded exactly how much of a water person I am. The sound of the cicadas in the morning, the bullfrogs and lightening bugs in the evening, the humidity, the back-porch sitting, the heat (also described as a southern summer night...). We bought fishing poles that I have every intention of breaking out today and the kayak is just waiting to go in the water. I just love being closer to nature, able to interact with it personally. Makes me very happy.

Green, water, & flowers? Paradise.

We leave for Belize on Friday. I cannot tell you how excited I am about that- 5 days of beaches, SCUBA, and all around relaxation. I wish I could take everyone I know with me that way I could actually see everyone I love in the week and a half that I have off, but it doesn't work that way and unfortunately, I'm not going to get to see everyone. I had intended on driving all over TX to see everyone, but it turns out my sweet little car had different plans. So while she's getting some work done, I'm in Dallas just enjoying the ride. I'll post pictures of Belize soon.

I got to work with patients a lot more this year, shadowed a doctor I respect very much (Dr. Brad Snodgrass is amazing if you live in LBB). From patient interaction to professionalism to the ins-and-outs of running on office, it was a very exciting experience for me. I was able to complete full exams on patients and present their cases... I even got to do my first full mini-Mental (just another exam). It's just... it's so much more real now, that this dream I've had for so long is getting so much closer to becoming my reality.  Yikes. [Am I ready??]

Thanks to LBB, I've added a few new lifelong friends to the list. People who get me, see me in ways I haven't experienced before. I love how much other people can make life  so much more pleasant, more appealing, more important. I can't thank you all enough for that. The people here have helped me get through medical school without losing my sanity (thus far). Love!




Ok, so basically I love you peeps. I'm busy but miss you. I may not get to see you, but I think of you.

Spring in Lubbock

I'm consistently amazed by the ways in which Lubbock can surprise me. From meeting some of my new life-long friends to getting exposure/opportunities I would not have gotten elsewhere, to HOW GREEN it is right now... I feel like there's always something popping up. Then again, maybe I'm just getting older, time is flying by, and my memory is going- so every time I stop and look up, my mind just gets excited. Either way- it is deliciously green in some parts of the city right now and I could not be happier about it.

I miss green- and water. As much as I love it here, I could never live here forever. I'm babysitting one of my favorite physician's dogs right now - and she has the most beautiful back porch and yard. Big trees, lots of green grass. I have spent so much time on the back porch- it reminds me of home (with one gaping hole... the lake :/ ). I was talking to Joe yesterday about how when I look at myself objectively, I'm always amazed to see how you grow into yourself... how you begin to really define and sharpen exactly what it is you want from life, what you can take, what you're willing to put up with, and the exact end goal that you want for yourself. It's interesting to watch yourself grow into you.

On a different note, I've been preparing a lecture on Uganda this last week. The lecture is going to be great and I used this new website, prezi.com - to make my presentation- so it looks amazing. The more I got into the history of Uganda and starting reading about the cycles of dictatorships they have had, the more thankful I am for being a US citizen. The typical idea spread about African people isn't true- they aren't hopeless or dependent- in fact, they're quite ingenious and resourceful - but the situations they go through when it comes to government or warfare is terrifying. Even if I was over there, I would never understand because- I can always come home. I have the ability to come back, to leave. I'll never understand it the way they do. I am excited about this presentation- because it is a mix of all of the aspects of global development that I love. Reconciliation tactics, infrastructure development, local & sustainable initiatives, etc. Of course, I am not presenting on all of that- longest lecture ever- but doing the research and mapping things out for me is so ... motivating.

I have been thinking a lot about my Nicaragua mission recently (see previous posts). It might be because I'm babysitting the doctor's dog/house that took me, but I also feel a tugging at the motivation and ideas I had when I came back from Jinotega. I mentioned that I would discuss my reservations, etc that I had from the trip- I bet you didn't think I meant almost a year would go by.

Sophia

My number one... hesitation? concern?... about Nicaragua was this- when we arrived/left, I met all kinds of people in the airport. Surfers, people seeing their Nica family on vacation, etc. But overwhelmingly, the majority were US church groups going on mission trips with plans that include both development (like well building/health clinics) and conversion. I love God and I love development, so I'm sure some are wondering where I'm going with this- but the thing that struck me the most, was how disorganized the whole shindig was. Here we have hundreds of people entering the country with plans of going to this city, or that city, to do one thing or another- but there's no overarching organization. They could be building wells in the same city or having health clinics right next to each other and they'd never know it until they were all set up. Everyone goes around the government for the most part- and with good reason as even in relatively stable countries, corruption can be rampant, anything from bags full of medicine never arriving to important machinery having to be bribed through customs. But my frustration was that there's no central 'clearinghouse' of sorts for information on what areas need the most attention, and what type of attention. There is no reference for where people are acting.

Las Quebradas, Nicaragua

Now, I understand how practically unfeasible this idea is. How much man power it might take to get up and running- or how much status I'd have to have to get the big organizations like the IRC to use it. But think about it- if there was something that listed the dates, locations, mission plans, etc for every organization/church etc in the area- we could see which areas of the population were getting the least amount of help, see who needed additional supplies or where there was already an established well so that you can help maintain them for the communities. I can't tell you how many stories of- oh, they had a well but now it's contaminated/broken - I heard. I know it's a safety concern. So there would still have to be some overarching vagueness but it's just so interesting to think about what could be done if we all worked cooperatively instead of just simultaneously.

This idea is something I've been discussing with Liz... we're going to start brainstorming. So if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to leave them.

As for actual medical school, I'm still doing well. My motivation levels are tanking, esp when I get distracted by global health stuff- which just dominates my mind and sends me into that focused place where people can be talking to you and you don't even hear them. But I think my two weeks of haze are wearing off and I'm coming back into my medical school is #1 line of thinking. I worry about STEP 1, which I take June 11th. Liz, mom and I are trying to plan a vacation- I want to go diving in Belize for about a week. Then I'll travel through TX trying to see every family member I can. Then it'll be back to Lubbock to move every thing I own to Amarillo before orientation for rounding starts. I'm super excited about that. Finally some hands on/working with people type of learning. Everyone says I'll love it. I hope they're right :)

Love to family and friends. You make life worthwhile.