Update on Brooke

Yet again Brooke has proved how resilient the human body and mind can be.

Her diagnosis ended up being pneumonia. No need for surgery- thank goodness. They extubated her on monday (two weeks ago) and within minutes she was coughing up... well, the stuff that needed to come up. Turns out, after undergoing 4 surgeries in two weeks, her throat was so sore that she didn't WANT to cough- so it settled in her lungs and turned into pneumonia. Now, two weeks later- she's doing perfectly. A few days ago they scoped her and Dr. McClay said that her vocal chords look "perfect". I'm not sure he's ever said that to us. Talk about relief. Thank God for small blessings amid absolute chaos. Since they did have to laser her vocal chords a little, her voice is very weak- she sounds like she's whispering all the time. But you can understand her perfectly most times and they say with time she should adapt around that and just have a soft talking voice. I can't believe how you go from such turmoil to peace so quickly, but in two weeks we went from watching Brooke practically dying to being assured that everything is perfectly fine. Wow.

On a different note, I finally asked for a raise. I didn't get what I want- due to a hiring glitch, I am paid through the university instead of through Dan's grant so- I have to just get 'pooled' raises with all the casual labor employees until December when our next grant comes through and he can put my name on that. He's assured me that my pay will greatly increase when that happens- and thank goodness I work for someone like Dan because I know I can believe him. In the meantime, I get a 5% increase starting Sept 1st. Not much but, I guess every penny helps.

I start my MCAT class on 9/27... I guess from that point on I'll be saving quite a bit of money... that whole- not going anywhere or doing anything because I'm studying thing kind of helps with that. Oh- speaking of class, Dan's letting me sit in on his clinical psych PhD class that he teaches... I'm really excited about that and he's a great teacher. yay :) I'm such a nerd, I'm happy about taking a class that I dont get credit for! woohoo!

the end for now.

Brooke Lynn

My god-baby has been in the hospital since last thursday... I swear, I hope I never end up in a hospital for any reason. I know I want to work in one... but I'd rather do ER than be in an extended care position. Some doctors & nurses are awesome, some are so horrible it makes you want to call 911 from inside the hospital. Katie almost did. She was so scared for Brooke's life. Brooke was in respiratory distress for mroe than three hours with dr's and nurses swearing there was nothing else they could do and Katie screaming for help. All it took was the shift change. The new charge nurse came in, called ICU, had new dr's in that room within 10 minutes, and within 30 Brooke was in ICU where people were at least trying to do something. She ended up on a ventilator, sedated to allow her body to rest after the hours of struggling so hard to breathe. They told Katie she must feel like she's just run 10 miles. She'll be 4 next month.

I've never wanted to hurt someone so badly. No child should have to under go that.

the worst part- that's not even it. While she was supposed to be sedated and resting, they weren't making sure that she didn't wake up- so she'd wake up and start to freak out because she's ventilated, has 4 different IVs, and is restrained to the bed. We actually had one nurse tell us "well, she's not really that agitated. it's ok if she wakes up". NO. No its not. her windpipe is trying to heal and you want someone with an additional tube down there to be able to wake up and start crying and trying to talk while ventilated?? no.

No to mention the IV that blew and caused internal chemical burns in her arm.

I dont know how Katie handles all of this.

Anyways- the whole point is- please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She's doing much better- after they extubated her she started being able to cough up the pneumonia. Now she's just really, incredibly weak. When she reaches for her new Sleeping Beauty toy, her hands shake so bad that she ends up knocking them over. It kills me.

Other than that- Mom finally started calling people to do the things around the house that I've been begging her to do. The city is going to come out and look at that pipe that's erroding our land away and hopefully they'll fix it. she's going to call and get a few good names for home levelers and a structural engineer. Maybe even an AC guy but she's not sure that she want's to take the last HVAC guy's advice (even though our bill is outrageous). ugh.

Oh, and i start my MCAT class next month and Gina is moving to Amarillo.

Oddly enough, I dont feel that stressed. Hmm. Maybe it will hit me later? We'll see.

i have a date.

I was asked out on a date. monday. a lunch date. 2nd date in... oh for goodness sake... 4+ years. that's pathetic. yet somehow, i know that before, before recently that is, i wasn't ready to let anyone in and there wasn't the right person around. not that this guy is the right one for me- but at least i'm much more open to the opportunity. it feels weird- i'm so used to being closed to things like this... i almost feel like i'm faking it.


but as my friend malika says... fake it till you make it dear.


it's funny to me how my emotional state towards certain things in my life recently has changed. people that were so important to me... people that dominated my life... are suddenly- not as important. my heart feels different. i feel stronger and yet more vulnerable to attack- something i hate.

oh, and thanks to the before mentioned crazy coincidences, i decided to go ahead and buy more personal training. i mean, it can't hurt. oh boy. what have i gotten myself into. i hate getting up early, let alone having ryan following me around making me sore. just what i need to start a new day... ha.