i have a date.

I was asked out on a date. monday. a lunch date. 2nd date in... oh for goodness sake... 4+ years. that's pathetic. yet somehow, i know that before, before recently that is, i wasn't ready to let anyone in and there wasn't the right person around. not that this guy is the right one for me- but at least i'm much more open to the opportunity. it feels weird- i'm so used to being closed to things like this... i almost feel like i'm faking it.


but as my friend malika says... fake it till you make it dear.


it's funny to me how my emotional state towards certain things in my life recently has changed. people that were so important to me... people that dominated my life... are suddenly- not as important. my heart feels different. i feel stronger and yet more vulnerable to attack- something i hate.

oh, and thanks to the before mentioned crazy coincidences, i decided to go ahead and buy more personal training. i mean, it can't hurt. oh boy. what have i gotten myself into. i hate getting up early, let alone having ryan following me around making me sore. just what i need to start a new day... ha.