Paradise Unknown: Amarillo

I wish I could say that I have a good reason for not updating everyone before now... but I dont feel that is entirely true. I may be busy, but I'm not THAT busy. So- I'll do my best to update quarterly like I promised at the beginning of this journey.

I've officially been in Amarillo for 8 months now. Extra-quick summary: I've completed my Internal Medicine, OB/GYN, Psychiatry, and Surgery rotations (crazy, right?). I found a church that is now a home. I've made some amazing friends. I'm still teaching/coordinating the class on global health and development. I'm still active in the community- planning a health fair for kids in the Amarillo area- got a grant for it and everything!

Amarillo... beautiful and flat

So let's start with career. I'm truly enjoying medical school. The hours are long, the people are tough, the patients range in character, and the tests are HARD. But I love it so much, I can't even begin to describe how it makes me feel to be here. I still feel like an idiot sometimes, but I am 100% certain this is where I am supposed to be... and nothing feels better than knowing I'm fulfilling my calling. I'm currently leaning towards general internal medicine. I loved OBGYN (but the hours and malpractice costs make it completely unappealing to me), hated psychiatry (just not for me), thrived in surgery (see comments for OBGYN)... but internal medicine has the patients that I love the most. It's hard because many of them- especially at a teaching hospital- are low income and have self-inflicted issues, like COPD secondary to smoking. But I love them. I love encouraging them, lifting them up, and motivating them to change all while managing so many problems (from health to social to emotional and how all of those blend into one) at once. Anyways- at least I finally have an idea of what I will be going into.

Church... I cannot say enough about the people I have met through Redeemer Amarillo, the community that church has blessed me with, and the connection that I've found there. The pastor blows me away sometimes. My community group is an art based group- every quarter (approximately), we design a big project that we then paint/draw/macrame into creation and the church lets us display it in the lobby. The people in this group are the epitome of kindness and light. My heart swells just thinking about them. From Melvin, my 73yr old adoptive father, to 19 yr old Sawyer, the hippy artist that reminds me of someone I used to be, to Seth and Katie- the honorable and gracious couple that guide and feed our group every week, Kim and Paul who make life so much more fun and tolerable and who are now indespensible to me... it's my second family. I liked Lubbock- had bonds there. But this feels different... this is completely different. It's a love for people that you dont feel frequently outside of your family. I cannot even begin to express the connection I have with these people.

Kim and I

Kim and Aaron making 100,000 muffins

The women of Redeemer Art Nerds

Our Christmas project

Friends... first, see above. My art group is amazing. I actually also attend a single ladies group- and these girls make me laugh so much. My roommate has truly grown into his role as great friend to me, as well. John and I get along so well that people dont even understand it. We just get each other and we love each other. It's a great roommate experience. We will be living together again next year and are actually sad that we will be spending months away from each other. I love having friends like that in my life. I made a new friend at church recently, Cole. He is one of those additions to your life that once in, feels like it's been there forever. Amarillo has taught me there are good people everywhere.

John and I

Cole at Chickfila on kids night :)

Global health... I'm still coordinating the class. Funny story! We were supposed to have our fake patient interviews (a fake patient pretends to have an infectious disease and my students have to interview them and diagnose them), but it turns out the Amarillo weather had different plans- like the second largest blizzard in the history of Amarillo. Nineteen inches of snow. Yeah, 19 inches. It was crazy. Anyways, the class is coming to an end and I'm going to miss it. As I've mentioned in previous posts, global health is my thing, it's the thing that steals my attention and makes my heart race. I'm actually going back to the Unite for Sight 2013 Global Health & Innovations Conference. I went last year and I dont think I will miss going to an event like this for the rest of my life. There are groups out there that motivate me beyond belief and that are truly making such drastic differences in people's lives. I'll try and share some of their stories sometime.

Kids health fair- I applied for a received a grant through Texas Medical Association Foundation to host a health fair targeted at improing the health and safety of children at home. It's all about education and awareness. and I'm really excited about it. It makes me realize that I will always care about community- even when I'm stressed and frustrated with it all... it's still important enough to me to make it a relative priority. I want my family to be involved, I want my children to grow up knowing the importance of community support and development and of volunteering. Anyways- I'm excited about the health fair and now that I've found a location, I cannot wait to start the process of recruiting and organization.

There are other aspects of me that have changed, as well. Yet more walls that have come down. More hope for family in the future. More willingness to let people in. As of right now, no one fills the romantic spot in my life. I'm hoping that will change in the next couple of years. I'm completely out of control of my future- where I go, what city it will be in - for residency. It's like an arranged marriage- you just hope it works out for the best. Maybe part of that arrangement will be an even bigger step in life. Who knows.

Ok, I think that is enough for now. Needless to say, I'm doing well. I'm loving life. I miss my family so much. From Corbin turning 2, to Adan getting engaged, to Michael (a friend of mine) moving in with my mom... I feel like I'm missing so much. But I hope you all know that I love you so much and I think of you often.

And to leave you with... some pics of Belize :)